My Faith Journey
Life before my faith was full of pain, suffering, and darkness.
If I decide to write down all the events of my life on paper, it may add up to a few books and void of any blessing for the readers. I will try not to write much about my painful past and focus more on the great work of the Lord.
For me, the image of God since childhood was of someone who caused bad events to happen. I remember whenever something bad happened in our lives, my parents would say, “It was the will of God,” or “This is the will of God, we cannot oppose it.” As I grew up, I came to the conclusion that the will and desire of God was nothing more than misery and agony. It was as if I was destined to see my loved ones pass away, experience a short marriage, and be rejected by my family.
I could not make myself love such a god—a god who saw my pain and suffering from above but did not take any steps to help me out! Every day my hatred toward this god increased more and more until I decided to set him aside from my life and not believe in him anymore.
My Deepest Desire
Unfortunately every day I was going down deeper into the mud and mire; addiction and loneliness were destroying me. Death had become my deepest desire. A few times I tried to take my life, but I was not successful. Sometimes I would think to myself that maybe it was god’s will and desire for me to continue living this wild life so that he could laugh at me from above and say, “Yasaman, your destiny is to endure pain and drawn in the pit! You cannot fight your destiny.”
The last time I tried to take my life was on a New Year’s eve. I was living alone in an apartment in Tehran, struggling with poverty. The Iranian New Year was about to begin at 3:30 a.m. that year. I was lying on the couch in front of the TV waiting. I did not want to sleep. I wanted to enter the new year consciously, knowing what awaited me. At the same time I was trying to plan another way to take my life.
The Dream
Somehow I fell asleep and I had a strange dream. In the dream I saw myself entering a building with muddy clothes. Although I had never seen inside a church building, I knew the place I entered was a church. In the sanctuary there were a few women sitting on the floor. They were praying in a language I could not understand. When the door closed loudly, they noticed I had entered. They smiled and invited me to join them.
Although I was ashamed of my appearance, I sat beside them quietly. I was continuously careful not to get mud on anyone sitting beside me. I was very anxious. I knew I should not have entered a holy place with such dirty clothes.
I could not stay there for long so I got up; and while the women were worshiping and praying with their eyes closed, I left the building. As soon as I came out of the church door, I noticed everywhere was covered in mud. I saw many people sitting on broken boats and each had been sinning in a different way. It was a very difficult scene to watch. I was in the mud at knee level, scared to go forward. I could not go back either.
If I entered the church I would defile the sanctuary. I was deep in thought when suddenly a boat passed by me. I used the opportunity and jumped into it! I had not gone far when I heard a loud cry of someone drowning in the mud. I wanted to get out of my boat and help him, but I knew I would be drawn into the mud with him. Anxiously I cried out for someone to help him, but it was as if no one could hear me.
Jesus Saves
All of a sudden I saw a well-dressed Man walking on the mud! It was so interesting that His clothes were not at all dirty. When He came closer, I heard an internal voice telling me He was Jesus Christ. I was shocked. I saw Jesus go to the man, He took his hands, and pulled him out of the mud.
Suddenly I woke up. I was covered with sweat and had a strange feeling. A half hour had passed into the New Year. I was deep in thought, Why should I have such a strange dream?
I had only had two or three vivid dreams in my life, the rest of my dreams were always a reflection of my day’s thoughts and events. It was so interesting for me because that day I was not even thinking of God or His “prophet,” so to see Jesus Christ in my dream was quite amazing. I had a strange feeling.
Happy New Year
The new year had started and I had no reason to stay awake, but no matter how much I tried, I could not fall asleep. At ten o’clock in the morning, I picked up the phone and called one of my Armenian friends. I had not been in contact with her for a long time. She was not surprised I called her because it was the first day of the new year and it is a tradition to call everyone and wish them a Happy New Year.
As soon I finished greeting her on the phone, without any hesitation I shared with her the dream I had the night before. I used a phrase that amazed me later! I told her I had an invitation to go to her church!
My friend was silent on the phone. I thought the phone call had been disconnected, but after a moment my friend said, “Yasaman, I am sure this time your invitation is from heaven.” I did not understand what she meant, but since she had previously invited me to her church many times and each time I had refused to go, I thought maybe she was teasing me.
That day she gave me her church address and explained to me that I could not go on Sundays because the services were only for the church members; however, I could go the following Friday. I was so excited and anxious at the same time. I could not wait! At last Friday came.
After lunch I decided to rest a little to get ready for the service. After I woke up, I looked at the clock and could not believe it was 7 o’clock in the evening already! How could time have passed so quickly?! Suddenly a deep sense of hopelessness took over me. I felt as if God did not want me to go to a pure and holy place. I recalled the scenes from the dream I had.
From No Hope to All Hope
Again I thought about taking my life. It seemed there was no more hope left. I had been drawn into the mud and mire that I had witnessed in my dream.
After a few hours my friend contacted me. She was very concerned about my emotional well-being and encouraged me not to remain hopeless and attend their church the following week.
Something was telling me, “You have lived a lifetime with such misery and poverty, wait another week.” I planned with my friend to attend the church service the following week.
At last the day came. I must admit I had never cried in public before. Pride and the difficult challenges of life had hardened my heart. It was as if my tears had dried up for years. On that day, though, as soon as I entered the church, I started crying. That day was Good Friday. It was as if God had specifically arranged that day for me to attend church for the first time. When the pastor described the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, I had goose bumps. My body was numb. I could not move.
At the end of the message, the pastor asked the congregation to pray. He said, “On the Cross, Jesus Christ was crucified between two thieves. He suffered for our sins and He took all of our transgressions upon Himself to pull us out of the mud and mire. If you give your heart to Jesus Christ today, He is able to change your life and pull you out.”
I could not stand under the divine power that came upon me. As I bowed my head, I shed tears in silence. I said to Jesus, “Up until today, no one has been able to help sort out my life, but they say that You can! Okay today I give You this chance to pull me out of the mud, the sins, and the poverty that I am drowning in and save me.”
As I write this testimony, many years have passed. Yes indeed, Jesus Christ was the only One who had the power to change my life. I must confess that during recent years, I have experienced the love that I was deprived of for many years prior. His divine love is unparalleled and incomparable. Every day the Lord has protected me and directed my path. All glory to His name!
Today He is the Lord and God of my life. I can say with certainty that His will and His desire for my life is always good. Now I have learned that God the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ is the One who wants only good blessings for His children. Not only did He rise from the dead two thousand years ago, even today He redeems people such as me.
Glory to His mighty name!
Conclusion and Salvation Prayer
This story reveals God’s unconditional, eternal love for all of His children. God is love—the essential life-giving ingredient that is missing in all other religions, including Islam. This woman who shared her testimony with you was yearning to be loved and cherished, deep down where only Jesus can touch and heal. The void in her life was exposed by God’s great compassion, revealing the death and dank of her own religious traditions and rituals.
Hearts, Minds, and Spirits Awakened
Miracles and visions stirred her heart, pricked her mind, and awakened her spirit. Whether a supernatural healing or a divine visitation from Jesus Himself, this Muslim experienced the One True God who is alive and ready and willing to offer peace, joy, and freedom.
Contrary to the deeds-demanding god this woman bowed to, she came to personally and intimately know the God who sent His Son Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for her sin. She experienced an up-close-and-personal God whose forgiveness is eternal and saw the God of action—Love in action who heals sickness, addiction, bondage, and torment because He loves them.
God’s Supernatural Love
God’s love is far beyond any kind of human love we can ever even imagine:
God loved you before you were even born.
God loved you before you loved Him.
God loved you when you ignored Him.
God loved you when you were sinning and rebelling.
God even loved you before you believed in Him or even knew He was real.
Romans 5:8 tells us that “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” Truly, this is a supernatural love. When you experience God’s transforming love, you will lose interest in the sins that used to appeal to you. There is nothing like the love of God to change a sad and lonely life into one of joy and peace and hope.
The greatest demonstration of love is when Jesus left the glory of Heaven to come to earth and die for you on the Cross. That day He reconciled you with God, assuring an eternal bond and loving relationship with God the Father. You are more precious to Him than any riches.
God wants to have an intimate relationship with you today! This was His original desire from the beginning. Scripture tells us that God actually walked and talked with Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. Unfortunately, they disobeyed God which caused a curse that has impacted the whole of history, even to this very day.
Since then the world has been corrupted by famine, natural disasters, disease, crime, and war. Sin causes people to pursue worldly success, money, power, selfish satisfaction, unbridled sex, gambling, and other such evils that leave people empty, lonely, and hopeless.
There is a hole in the center of every human being that people try and fill with everything other than God. But the truth is, only God Himself can fill that hole. Sin separates us from God, which leads to spiritual and physical death. Jesus the Savior connects us to God and leads to fulfillment, righteousness, and eternal life.
The Divine Solution
The Bible prophets and their prophecies point to the Messiah who would come and deliver people from their sins. Every one of the 300 prophecies given about the coming Savior was fulfilled in Jesus. He restored a right relationship between humanity and God that was lost in the Garden of Eden.
There is nothing you can do to make yourself right before our Holy and Almighty God. Jesus Christ did it for you. Acts of religion and good works will not bridge the divide between you and God. The bridge is Jesus’ selfless act of compassion on the Cross where He took your sin upon Himself.
Your Choice
Your encounter with God begins with a choice:
Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life… (Deuteronomy 30:19-20 NLT).
Choosing life—Jesus—is the most important decision you will ever make. The men and women whose testimonies you read about chose life and blessings. If you have not already made the choice to be a follower of Jesus, God’s beloved Son, I encourage you to say the following prayer out loud:
Dear heavenly Father, You are the Most High God, and I come to You in the name of Jesus. I thank You for sending Jesus to the earth as the Word of God who became flesh.
Father, I receive Your love and gift of salvation in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus, I believe You died on the Cross and shed Your blood for my sins and the sins of the whole world. Because of Your sacrifice, You remember my sins no more and I have right standing before You. I believe You were raised from the dead on the third day.
Now Jesus, come into my heart. Take away my stony heart and give me a new heart that I may love the Father even as You do. And Lord, help me to know You and experience Your love in the way I have read about in these stories.
Thank You, Jesus.